Week 34 , 2006

Weekend really pass way toooo fast !!

Its the last weekend I have with Eddie before I leave for India next Sat. (Arghh… Nightmare!) Thus, I requested more hugs from him as always (b4 any trips). ๐Ÿ˜›

We met up on Sat at Yishun, had our lunch and went over to the Yishun Stadium for Chad’s Taekwando Competition. Chad is Eddie’s colleague in Monster Holidays. What can I say.. Really have to comment… Singapore judges are 80% corrupted! Super stupid! Super “Kelong” wan lor… In Chad’s 2nd match, his opponent was 1993′ SEA Game Gold Medalist. (Dunno what that guy’s name is.. But I feel.. He look rather plump to me) Even though he was the past gold medalist holder. But I do feel that it was quite clear Chad was the winner!! But the stupid judges announced the latter to be the winner!! What I see from that time was that. Everything seems to be prefixed, unless you manage to (K.O) your opponent. In the 1nd round of the match. I already felt Chad was leading! But !! They put it as a draw! Then on the 3rd round, i believe it was another draw. What I could think of is they do not want the “ex gold medalist” to “lose face” thus let him win the match! It was all so obvious! When Chad gave the disbelief look and pointed (playful point) at the judges table. The old man doesn’t even dare to look at him lor! Coward Judge!

Its the 2nd “fighting” match that I have watched within the same month. I can conclude that it always isn’t really a fair game. So much for saying entertainment line is corrupted. I think in every industry, every trade, every sports, everything!! Someone is corrupted! Humph.. Might as well void the competition.

Anyway, just disappointed to see this in Singapore. (Although already know that it does exist.)

After we finish Chad’s match, we went back to his place.. Felt so tired for the day. (Must be the positive ions in the stadium!)

Sunday, we finally bathed “Xiao Bai” !! It have been so long! I guess we neglected him for more than a month. Finally have the time to do a more through cleaning to him. ๐Ÿ™‚ I like washing Xiao Bai with Eddie.. (I like doing almost anything with him.. Maybe except work.. Hohoho..)

We went to Pacific Coffee on Sunday! Utilized their free WiFi Service again. Haha.. & Charged my phone there.. Hoho.. Save my elect bills..

Ah Chew Dessert for our last destination. Darn… Happy times always passes by toooooo fast !!!

Pacific Coffee Pacific Coffee

Eddie's Com Mine Our Lappy !

Couple

Something Meaningful Again…

ย  Those who are still single may learn something from here….
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
marriage….

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.

She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?”

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
“It depends. Is that your husband?”

In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?”

Let me answer this question because the chances are
good that it’s weighing on your mind.

Here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in
love…

Because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the
imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when
it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between
the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry
the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their
spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for
fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.

It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You
could.

And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a
few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE
RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER
just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it
day in and day out. That’s why we have the _expression “the labor of
love.”

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it
takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are
predictable…you
can “make” love.

Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… Not just a feeling.

365 Days Before 14 August 2006….

400 Days ago, I join my current company. It was also the day when I met “Him”…ย  I had a special feeling from the moment our eyes met. (Of course I didn’t think too much then… It was only the first sight ma..) I remember that day was the first time that we had a meeting in the conference room.. He was presenting… I was just sitting there… Listening… I just can’t help thinking… “This guy is kinda cute huh” (heehee)

Another memorable day was the day that we had the corporate photo shoot in the office.ย  Can’t help thinking about that day. I keep feeling so embarassed when he stood behind the photographer. Thus when they asked me to try for the web shot. I went inside the pantry & closed the door instead so as not to let anyone see.. ๐Ÿ˜›

We were both so “shy ” then… We didn’t talk much in the office. We kept our interactions to the minimum. It was some days later when “J” added me in msn… Shortly after, another person with the nick of : (Not envy of immortal but of lovers) – “something like that la” added me in msn as well. I’m not too sure who this person was initially.. Thinking, since he added me, he should know me? Hmm… Again, he didn’t msg me right away, he only did like 1-2 hours later. Saying my nick “impressed him” (The nicks I used during that time are mainly quotes I read thru the net) It was then we started to “chat” thru the net.

& 366 days ago. The day we held hands.. The day our love chapter begins…

Yesterday, 14 Aug 2006, marks the 1st year of our relationship. It was amazing… I meant the feelings we held for each other. So true, so real.. He is really a nice guy.. Someone I would hold on tight to.. Someone who is worth to cherish. Someone whom I would like to grow old with. ๐Ÿ™‚

In every relationship, there are bound to be bumps to appear. But it is how you ride thru these bumps together that counts… I’m glad to say that, he did an excellent job in that. He was always the giving one. (Of course he had his tempers too.. But he is still the more reasonable party at most of the times)

The little gestures that he did throughout the whole year have touched me repeatedly. I can only say that… I hoped this fairytale will continue till the end of this lifetime…

To Eddie:

Thanks for making all these happen.. Thanks for making this a reality & not a dream. Thanks for being so caring towards me. Thanks for sparing me the attention that I needed.

Thanks for loving me….

Happy 1 Year Anniversary !!ย 

Al Dente

We our dinner at Al Dente. (Esplanade) It was a nice & romantic place to have dinner! When the sky turns dark, we get to see Singapore’s skyline.. Awww… Superb Choice…

My Gift

My Gift.. He have done so much… He have given so much… I’m feeling guilty that this year I couldn’t do more… But… There will be many more to come right? ๐Ÿ˜›

A nice one… Man Should Read It…..

Though the below story is not new… U might have read it before… But… I still find it meaningful after my 2nd read through it.

A Chinese story

 

Just wanna share something… The story is based on chinese story. But maybe we can learn something from here. This is indeed a beautiful story and an EYE OPENER for many couples.

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb.

She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love.

This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife.

When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife.

But I couldn’t help doing so. I moved Dew’s hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture, O.K.? Ive got something to do in the company.

Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife.

Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dews body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her.

I couldn’t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint.

She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded.

I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I’ve got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I’m serious.

I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

At that night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.

The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had stressed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month’s time we must live as normal life as possible.

Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn’t want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember.

You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.

From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door.

She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.

I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’t tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried and tried a few but could not find a suitable one.

Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.

I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it’s time to carry mum out, he said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.

I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn’t notice that our life was lacking of such intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I’m serious.

She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won’t divorce.

My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry.

I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite.

The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, ” I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old… “